Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Press Release

We have called a press meeting today to discuss the reasons for the actions against our future target, Jason Troublemaker age twenty-six. His crimes have encompassed thievery, use of drugs, hijacking, and destruction of private property. As a criminal he is a danger to society and it is our privilege and duty to make sure that he is found and pays for all the wrongs he enforced on other good standing citizens.

Jason’s past experiences have included robbing a gas station and attempting to rob a country club. He has been tested with marijuana in his system on two accounts, the first while being pulled over for a traffic violation and the second when he was arrested for his first thievery attempt. The hijacking was his elderly neighbor’s teal Ford Taurus, the two were not well acquainted and he did not ask for permission. The destruction of private property was to his neighbor’s privacy fence, in which he drove through the gate and at the hospital where he hit an ambulance in his rush and then of course to the vehicle he drove throughout this occurrence. The ambulance driver and his son who was in the front seat suffered minor bruises as did the driver.

The cost that Jason has inflicted on his fellow neighbors has amounted to an estimated amount of $3,000. The figures for this number come from the two robberies where he stole $750 from the gas station, $50 from the country club, as the police were called to the scene, $150 for the privacy fence gate and $1,050 to the neighbor’s teal Taurus, and finally $1,000 from the exchange with the ambulance.

As the NMU Bounty Hunters, we are proud to use our personnel to find and bring this man to justice for the crimes he has committed against you good people and do our best to make sure he gets the full punishment of his actions to reconcile all of his misconduct as a citizen and prevent other such occurrences by his example. Thank you ladies and gentlemen for your time, that is all for the time being.


  1. Zach Pierson is a bum...dont count on him for anything

  2. Very nice job. Looks professional. I like the apperance, its nice and basic. Good job


  3. I love the first comment, very professional, guys.